Grim Reaper '05

Today I was able to use our new weed-eater, and well frankly it got me to thinking of what the Grim-Reaper of the future would prolly look like. So he'd have a weed-eater and he'd where a trench coat and ski mask... now that's pretty badass, but it's rather hard to kill people with a weed-eater. So he'd have a chainsaw. Now that is pure scary and deathlike screaming. But kids of our generation grew up with the likes of Freddy and Jason so we need to add some things to our new grim reaper to make sure children cower in fear... So well we're going to make his eye's glow, because glowing eyes are always scary! I mean, take a kitten, make its eye’s glow and, well, I’m not going to pet that kitty! Okay so we add glowing eyes and what else, hmmm... All right well when he walks it has to make the sound of a bag full of chains, because that sound is always scary. Now on the his trench-coat we should put some "no smoking" symbols, we all know that death won't scare a smoker but the thought of not being able to smoke sure as heel will. Now all this is scary and all, but not scary enough, so we need to think of some other things... like... um... RAINBOW SUSPENDERS! Now I’m shuddering just thinking of the new grim reaper. But what are the suspenders holding up? Only the scariest leg covering ever invented... Bell Bottoms. I admit they aren't as scary as rainbow suspenders but they certainly are scary. He needs a shirt too... or does he? Lets just have him go topless underneath the trench-coat but have a Wal-Mart smiley fact tattooed on his stomach with his nipple's making the eyes. Now I'm about to piss my pants...

So "The New Grim Reaper" is going to look like this: A guy in a trench-coat and ski mask holding a chain-saw wearing bell bottom and rainbow suspenders underneath the coat with a smiley face tattooed on his stomach and no smoking symbols all over his coat... Damn... I'm sure glad I grew up with the old grim reaper!