Women and Mortality

Between Women and mortality I am probably one of the more confused people right now.

I honestly don't understand either of these things.

We all die, but its a horrible thing to think about and hear in the news.

We all want to get laid but at times we're picky about who, when, and why.

We read about people dying and think nothing of it.

We flirt and try to impress people we would never want to reproduce with.

Our minds are bad, or at least mine is.

I cry when I read about tragedies.

But I hope for nothing when I go out on dates.

Irony

Why do I worry? It is because of her. Because of her I have to think about everything I do, everything I say everywhere I go. This is not pleasant. I remember when I always thought of her, but that was for the joy of life. I wanted to see her everywhere I went. But this is long vanished. I feel like I am torturing myself at this point, I have no reason to feel like this but I do. Is this horrible feeling love?

Logan, you need to let go. Live in the now. Smile, laugh, joke. It is your only life you need to enjoy it.

Try to let go

My head is a mess, there are two up there, at least. I think one time I counted as many as three. If I talk to myself they start talking back. I am not entirely sure if thise is normal or if it is really even happening. Perhaps I just think rather quickly and its all just one voice. But that doesn't explain the arguements I have with myself.

I know I have two different thought processes. There is one that wants to believe, thinks of fairies and dragons and magical places perhaps in the stars, places where I can be the hero and wander as a perfectly acceptable profession. And the other is on earth, probably working. constantly reminding me that the other doesn't exist and that the only way to get ahead in life is by hard work. The fact that the first process is still around says something about my true inner feelings.

Feelings are another thing. Infact I don't much feel like getting into those right now. Infact I don't think I could if I tried. Creatively I feel lacking as of the last several months, this disappoints me, the fairies are leaving me to my own cage of a mind.

Sometimes I feel like screaming.

I always want to run away.

Lonliness may be normal.

Bluh

There was this litle thing that happened today, it was small and quiet insignificant, but for the last two hours it has gotten me to wondering. I really have no idea what it was besides for maybe a piece of sunshine split open my head and reminded me that i did need to be around. Or perhaps it was the cracks on the sidewalk listen to my footsteps wondering if I needed help. Other things it could have been are, ancient vikings trying to find a good cup of mead, or speck of dust attemping to sprout into a full size llama. My hands are getting tired.