Try to let go

My head is a mess, there are two up there, at least. I think one time I counted as many as three. If I talk to myself they start talking back. I am not entirely sure if thise is normal or if it is really even happening. Perhaps I just think rather quickly and its all just one voice. But that doesn't explain the arguements I have with myself.

I know I have two different thought processes. There is one that wants to believe, thinks of fairies and dragons and magical places perhaps in the stars, places where I can be the hero and wander as a perfectly acceptable profession. And the other is on earth, probably working. constantly reminding me that the other doesn't exist and that the only way to get ahead in life is by hard work. The fact that the first process is still around says something about my true inner feelings.

Feelings are another thing. Infact I don't much feel like getting into those right now. Infact I don't think I could if I tried. Creatively I feel lacking as of the last several months, this disappoints me, the fairies are leaving me to my own cage of a mind.

Sometimes I feel like screaming.

I always want to run away.

Lonliness may be normal.