So it begins.

The familiar sound of the flywheel sticking greets the 19 year old as he turns the key. To many this would be the sign to call AAA, or perhaps flag down another motorist to get some help. Not Ablyn though. He grabs the steering wheel with both hands and violently shakes the small cab of the Toyota pickup in an attempt to get the flywheel moving. As he turns the key for a second time, the small four cylinder engine gives out the roar you'd only hear from pre-1990's automobiles. Slowly he pulls out of his curbside parking space and makes his way to the near-by interstate five. This is about to be a very interesting week.

EVERYTHING!

Here I am so worried about everything, never actually stopping and looking at everything going on around me. I really just need to stop and think. No, not think but think less. I think too much, my brain is always plugging away at the random shit inside my head. She loves me, she loves me not. I take little things and they suddenly mean the world. Oh, look at that! She smiled; it must mean that when the planets are aligned with the moon and the sun is on its downward decent that she absolutely hates me. It makes sense! Oh, why does the world hate me so? This is all in my head of course, but you can convince yourself about anything and everything. You can tell yourself that you are crazy, and well when you wake up on the floor foaming at the mouth wearing nothing but a pair of ladies underwear on your head, you might just think. I was right all along! So why tell yourself that you are crazy? Shit happens.

Bitch

Some times I feel like a bitch. Just the way I think and the way I feel that everyone else should be, totally based on my damned opinions and the way I would like people to act around me.
What can I do?
Absolutely nothing but just shut my mouth and don't friggin hear about it.
Seriously, when I do think about it, all I get is bad ideas in my head, I start thinking of all the things I don't want to happen, I lose trust in people for things they've never done. I get upset about it.
I am a bitch.
I want to trust people, but it's hard.
Maybe it's just because I'm extremely insecure with myself, and I can't understand why anybody would actually enjoy me, beyond the fact that, I am a bitch.
I feel bad about it, but it's hard to stop. I'm afraid I'll lose people because of it.