Logan is tired.
Logan wants a hug.
Logan is probably clinically insane.
Logan will travel around the world.
Logan is waiting.
Logan doesn't have much to say.
Logan does not have a watch.
Logan is fuzzy.
Logan has to work today.
Logan works way too much.
Logan found his nifty necklace.
Logan is done.
2005-07-28
2005-07-23
Be Back Soon!
We are sorry for the inconvenience but your regularly scheduled update has been postponed. We are well aware of the delay and hope that you will understand. For more information on the delay please read below.
As of 13:45 today a small airplane carrying a load of monkeys crashed into a cheese factory. While no one was hurt, the cheese did begin to mutate the monkeys into giant rabid flying primates of utter and complete doom. To keep the situation under control Logan (The main proprietor of this Blog.) had to report to the scene and dismember the giant rabid flying primates of utter and complete doom.
At this juncture in time we cannot guarantee anything, however, latest reports indicate that Logan is safe and cleaning up the mess exceptionally well. We hope to see this incident taken care of before the grand cheese festival next week. Again we are sorry for the inconvenience.
As of 13:45 today a small airplane carrying a load of monkeys crashed into a cheese factory. While no one was hurt, the cheese did begin to mutate the monkeys into giant rabid flying primates of utter and complete doom. To keep the situation under control Logan (The main proprietor of this Blog.) had to report to the scene and dismember the giant rabid flying primates of utter and complete doom.
At this juncture in time we cannot guarantee anything, however, latest reports indicate that Logan is safe and cleaning up the mess exceptionally well. We hope to see this incident taken care of before the grand cheese festival next week. Again we are sorry for the inconvenience.
2005-07-20
Xcid
Why must boredom eat my brains? So often my brains say hello and then they are gone. Some say it was the monkeys that did it, but I know the truth. Somehow it never actually leads to the right door but more often then not it is the left door. I burned a couple CD's for people once, they never did work right after that. But enough about me how are those fluffy little clouds tasting? That actually sounds just about right when you ask me. Last time I got a bunch of purple gooey things, and they smelled funny. So anyway about that penguin that tried to eat my parents, I think that they had a pancake breakfast with it. The other day I was shot. I looked at my wound then just kept on walking; I figured if I were really supposed to die the man would shoot me again. How much is the dress in the window? Last time I was in town books were selling for 20 and 40 each, and that was just in the small bags. Bags can be funny things with all the stuff you can put in them, and they never will disappear! That last bit is really amusing, who would have thought that the dinosaurs invented vacuum cleaners. I'm sweating I think, or maybe that is just some liquid seeping out of my pours, or maybe both. How much can you take? I just did like three but I've done five before. Sometimes the sprinklers will mess it all up but in the end you know just what you need to do. Damn sprinklers. Do you get me? It's been such a mess but now it's clearing up. Those clouds did taste good, so did that flower that I just ate. How much of that was a flower?
Here's Another Song About Mexico
Let's go to Mexico. But, only if we are driving under a full moon while listening to really good music. Okay... I guess the moon doesn't have to be full but it does have to be a clear night. It would be best to drive a convertible but any car will work as long as the windows are rolled down. The spark behind this really consisted of me driving home, my windows rolled down, and the almost full moon loomed in front of me to the right. As the warm air of the night mixed with the perfect moon-light hit my face, just as the perfect song started playing on the radio, it occurred to me: I have to go to Mexico.
I've always wanted to go down to Mexico. Mainly to listen to a bunch of The Refreshments' songs. They have a lot of songs about Mexico and it just makes you want to be there listening to them on some old scrappy stereo. I'm sure that's not the only reason... I mean aren't there other things in Mexico? None that I can think of.
I've always wanted to go down to Mexico. Mainly to listen to a bunch of The Refreshments' songs. They have a lot of songs about Mexico and it just makes you want to be there listening to them on some old scrappy stereo. I'm sure that's not the only reason... I mean aren't there other things in Mexico? None that I can think of.
2005-07-15
The Abridged History of Saladish Up to the 3700's
Concerning the Saladish Empire:
In the mid 2600's a small group of human workers migrated over the Glunjil mountain range into the unsettled greater Saladish area. The human group was fleeing the harsh working conditions enforced by Drix at the time. Due to over-population the Drix Imperatrix took no heed to them leaving and assumed that no living beings could breach the Glunjil mountain range. The workers left Drix 10,000 strong and proving the Imperatrix wrong about 8,000 of them survived the mountain passes.
When the small human group reached the greater Saladish region a majority decided to set up a small settlement next to a small river flowing down from the mountains. (This river would later be named The River Hahn, after the explorer Hahn Killian followed its path all the way to the Drisdemric Sea.) This settlement with its mountainous backdrop would serve as a reminder of the harsh conditions they faced in Drix and those hardships their ancestors faced crossing the Glunjil Mountains. They named this settlement Saladish, after the region, which they claimed now as their own.
Shortly after (c. 2668) a man named Ralphlin Gregdor traveled around the greater Saladish area setting up a set of codes ensuring settlements safety and autonomy which would hence forth be known as the Saladish Alliances.
Although many of the humans settled in this region pledged themselves to the newly founded Saladish Alliances, a small number of humans wished to travel further south into the valley of Flowderfloon. The Flowderfloonians never had any animosity towards the Saladites, (largely due to there common ancestry) yet for their own personal reasons never pledged themselves to the Saladish Alliances.
Saladish flourished for many years without any outside disturbances, this 200 year period is known now as the Construction years. During these years the Flowderfloonians cut off communications with the Saladish Alliances and fortified themselves in their thickly wooded valley. The Flowderfloon Valley quickly slipped into a mysterious memory.
In the year 2904 Helen Trackdoor, who, at the time, was the mayor of the small village of Gregdoor and the chief enforcer of the Saladish Alliances, foresaw the fall of the Saladish Alliances due to the several larger cities trying to over through one another for the more popular trade. Helen saw that this would ultimately turn into a power struggle, which would weaken all the country. At the perfect time Helen quickly gathered a formable force of Saladites and blockaded all of the larger cities blocking their trade and food supplies. (This was the first and only use of power within Saladish until the late 3700's.) As this was going on Helen was appealing to the rulers of each city asking them to join a new Saladish Empire with the threat of being completely cut off from supplies. Almost every city followed suite within days of the blockade.
Now that the Saladish Empire was built Helen stood in as a temporary ruler as a new directive was written up. The new directive known as the Transition Papers was based primarily on the original Drixian Constitution, which was abolished well before the colonization of Saladish. The Transition papers created different states of Saladish which was each ruled by separate Lords and Ladies all of which owed complete allegiance to the Saladish Empire and took orders from the Saladish Emperor, (or Empress.) Keeping away from the oppressions of Drix they left behind so many years before. The people were set in a position to have the power to overthrow the Emperor and elect new ones. (The people never overthrew any Emperors; many of them conceded their office before they could be removed. Due to the severe punishment they would receive if overthrown.) Even though Helen Trackdoor did not wish to be Empress she was the first elected and ruled with grace until her natural death in 2952. This state of the Saladish Empire only grew stronger until the late 3700's.
In the mid 2600's a small group of human workers migrated over the Glunjil mountain range into the unsettled greater Saladish area. The human group was fleeing the harsh working conditions enforced by Drix at the time. Due to over-population the Drix Imperatrix took no heed to them leaving and assumed that no living beings could breach the Glunjil mountain range. The workers left Drix 10,000 strong and proving the Imperatrix wrong about 8,000 of them survived the mountain passes.
When the small human group reached the greater Saladish region a majority decided to set up a small settlement next to a small river flowing down from the mountains. (This river would later be named The River Hahn, after the explorer Hahn Killian followed its path all the way to the Drisdemric Sea.) This settlement with its mountainous backdrop would serve as a reminder of the harsh conditions they faced in Drix and those hardships their ancestors faced crossing the Glunjil Mountains. They named this settlement Saladish, after the region, which they claimed now as their own.
Shortly after (c. 2668) a man named Ralphlin Gregdor traveled around the greater Saladish area setting up a set of codes ensuring settlements safety and autonomy which would hence forth be known as the Saladish Alliances.
Although many of the humans settled in this region pledged themselves to the newly founded Saladish Alliances, a small number of humans wished to travel further south into the valley of Flowderfloon. The Flowderfloonians never had any animosity towards the Saladites, (largely due to there common ancestry) yet for their own personal reasons never pledged themselves to the Saladish Alliances.
Saladish flourished for many years without any outside disturbances, this 200 year period is known now as the Construction years. During these years the Flowderfloonians cut off communications with the Saladish Alliances and fortified themselves in their thickly wooded valley. The Flowderfloon Valley quickly slipped into a mysterious memory.
In the year 2904 Helen Trackdoor, who, at the time, was the mayor of the small village of Gregdoor and the chief enforcer of the Saladish Alliances, foresaw the fall of the Saladish Alliances due to the several larger cities trying to over through one another for the more popular trade. Helen saw that this would ultimately turn into a power struggle, which would weaken all the country. At the perfect time Helen quickly gathered a formable force of Saladites and blockaded all of the larger cities blocking their trade and food supplies. (This was the first and only use of power within Saladish until the late 3700's.) As this was going on Helen was appealing to the rulers of each city asking them to join a new Saladish Empire with the threat of being completely cut off from supplies. Almost every city followed suite within days of the blockade.
Now that the Saladish Empire was built Helen stood in as a temporary ruler as a new directive was written up. The new directive known as the Transition Papers was based primarily on the original Drixian Constitution, which was abolished well before the colonization of Saladish. The Transition papers created different states of Saladish which was each ruled by separate Lords and Ladies all of which owed complete allegiance to the Saladish Empire and took orders from the Saladish Emperor, (or Empress.) Keeping away from the oppressions of Drix they left behind so many years before. The people were set in a position to have the power to overthrow the Emperor and elect new ones. (The people never overthrew any Emperors; many of them conceded their office before they could be removed. Due to the severe punishment they would receive if overthrown.) Even though Helen Trackdoor did not wish to be Empress she was the first elected and ruled with grace until her natural death in 2952. This state of the Saladish Empire only grew stronger until the late 3700's.
2005-07-13
Kirbu
Concerning the small fluffy animals:
The small fluffy animals are actually known as kirbu. Kirbu grow to be about two and a half feet long (including prehensile tail) and stand at a height of about eight inches tall. Their fur ranges in length from little over quarter inch to a full two inches long. (The longest fur on a kirbu recorded was a full three and a half inches long.) The color of a kirbu ranges from dark jet black all the way to a vivid forest green. (In colorful environments the kirbu has actually been known to take on colors unknown to it's natural environments such as reds and blues.) Patterns on kirbus are fairly common usually consisting of random blotches of a secondary color, although some more ordered patterns are not uncommon. The ears of a kirbu are much like that of a rabbit.
Kirbu can be naturally seen in almost any environment in which the Loki tree grows. (Their primary food source, which happens to only grow in the greater Saladish area.) After humans colonized the greater Saladish area they brought the Choocusco vine with them. The vine is considered a weed among many people and they were extremely glad to see the kirbus eating the vine just as fast as it grew. Do to this new food source that humans seemingly controlled it helped greatly in the domestication of the kirbu.
Known predators of the kirbu consist almost entirely of the giant Cocklespoon, although the domesticated kirbu need not worry of this threat since the giant Cocklespoons are deathly afraid of the human settlements. The lead killer of the common domesticated kirbu is the dangerous Jiggu Rot. Jiggu Rot is a highly infectious disease that attacks the kirbu’s respiratory system and slowly destroys its lungs. Untreated the survival rate is well under 20 percent, but if Jiggu Rot is caught in the early stages and properly treated the survival rate is boosted to a 78 percent. Through recent bursts in the veterinary medical field there is now an immunization you can get for your young kirbu that will protect them against Jiggu Rot through the rest of their natural lives. (Jiggu Rot cannot be spread to Humans.)
One of the more interesting things about the kirbu is that much like the common parrot and other birds it can imitate the human voice. The natural sound a Kirbu makes is much like that of a disgruntled mole, although it is an extremely good imitator of other animal sounds.
Please spay and neuter your kirbu.
The small fluffy animals are actually known as kirbu. Kirbu grow to be about two and a half feet long (including prehensile tail) and stand at a height of about eight inches tall. Their fur ranges in length from little over quarter inch to a full two inches long. (The longest fur on a kirbu recorded was a full three and a half inches long.) The color of a kirbu ranges from dark jet black all the way to a vivid forest green. (In colorful environments the kirbu has actually been known to take on colors unknown to it's natural environments such as reds and blues.) Patterns on kirbus are fairly common usually consisting of random blotches of a secondary color, although some more ordered patterns are not uncommon. The ears of a kirbu are much like that of a rabbit.
Kirbu can be naturally seen in almost any environment in which the Loki tree grows. (Their primary food source, which happens to only grow in the greater Saladish area.) After humans colonized the greater Saladish area they brought the Choocusco vine with them. The vine is considered a weed among many people and they were extremely glad to see the kirbus eating the vine just as fast as it grew. Do to this new food source that humans seemingly controlled it helped greatly in the domestication of the kirbu.
Known predators of the kirbu consist almost entirely of the giant Cocklespoon, although the domesticated kirbu need not worry of this threat since the giant Cocklespoons are deathly afraid of the human settlements. The lead killer of the common domesticated kirbu is the dangerous Jiggu Rot. Jiggu Rot is a highly infectious disease that attacks the kirbu’s respiratory system and slowly destroys its lungs. Untreated the survival rate is well under 20 percent, but if Jiggu Rot is caught in the early stages and properly treated the survival rate is boosted to a 78 percent. Through recent bursts in the veterinary medical field there is now an immunization you can get for your young kirbu that will protect them against Jiggu Rot through the rest of their natural lives. (Jiggu Rot cannot be spread to Humans.)
One of the more interesting things about the kirbu is that much like the common parrot and other birds it can imitate the human voice. The natural sound a Kirbu makes is much like that of a disgruntled mole, although it is an extremely good imitator of other animal sounds.
Please spay and neuter your kirbu.
2005-07-12
Giant Cocklespoons
Work sucks out my will to live. I'm quite serious too. There are some days when I completely surrender myself to the world for a few hours hopping that by letting down my guard something will maim me in such a way I won't have to deal with any shit for the next very long time.
The biggest problem with my work is that it fuels the trip I wish to take. But in doing that it sucks out my will to live. And well truly my trip should be replenishing my will to live but since it is still so far off it only replenishes my will to live at a much slower rate then work destroys it. The only thing that really keeps me going is the two measly days I get between my regular weeks at standing stone.
After the fall of the Saladish Empire the majority of the small fluffy animals fled to the nearby valley of Flowderfloon. While the Flowderfloonians greatly enjoyed the presence of the small fluffy animals they did not enjoy the giant cocklespoons that hunted the small fluffy animals for food.
The biggest problem with my work is that it fuels the trip I wish to take. But in doing that it sucks out my will to live. And well truly my trip should be replenishing my will to live but since it is still so far off it only replenishes my will to live at a much slower rate then work destroys it. The only thing that really keeps me going is the two measly days I get between my regular weeks at standing stone.
After the fall of the Saladish Empire the majority of the small fluffy animals fled to the nearby valley of Flowderfloon. While the Flowderfloonians greatly enjoyed the presence of the small fluffy animals they did not enjoy the giant cocklespoons that hunted the small fluffy animals for food.
Look what I made...
2005-07-06
The End of America?
I think the end of the world is coming. People actually have started to call me Jesus. Knowing me that is really just scary, but how bad can it really be? Maybe I should use my resemblance of him to start a following. Like I can claim to be Jesus and have everyone else do things... crazy things... like lets say, PLANT TREES IN PEOPLES YARDS! Oh my! That is just pure insanity; I think I’d prolly have to tone it down a little bit.
I have always wanted to start a revolution but frankly I don't know what it would be for. Like sure, there are plenty of people who wish to destroy our government. (And they're not all Americans!) But they are all scattered in different groups, there are the Anarchists, the Nihilists, the Communists, and yes even the dreaded Green party! What we really need to do is figure out a good point that every one would back against, and if we can't find one then we get to make one up! Like let’s say... THE GOVERNMENT DOESN'T LIKE KITTENS! Okay now that we have this tasty little lie floating around we can just wait for all of the governments enemies to band together, because everyone likes kittens! So now we have a very large group banding against the government so now we just need to figure out the best way to take over... Well the Anarchists will team up with the Arsonists and burn down all the government buildings. The Nihilists will sit around and do nothing. The Hippies will grow weed to bribe government officials and also to boost our new economy. The Communists will distribute all the weed and firearms equally among the revolted. And I will prepare to ensure my space as the New Emperor Grand High Uber Czar (NEGHUC) of The New-Age and Really Extremely Giddy Associative Provinces of the Country Also Formerly Known as the United States of America. (NAREGAPCAFKUSA) As the NEGHUC of NAREGAPCAFKUSA I will create a new language give people roller coasters and make penguins our national animal.
Damn, I'm gonna love living in NAREGAPCAFKUSA. Who wants to help?
I have always wanted to start a revolution but frankly I don't know what it would be for. Like sure, there are plenty of people who wish to destroy our government. (And they're not all Americans!) But they are all scattered in different groups, there are the Anarchists, the Nihilists, the Communists, and yes even the dreaded Green party! What we really need to do is figure out a good point that every one would back against, and if we can't find one then we get to make one up! Like let’s say... THE GOVERNMENT DOESN'T LIKE KITTENS! Okay now that we have this tasty little lie floating around we can just wait for all of the governments enemies to band together, because everyone likes kittens! So now we have a very large group banding against the government so now we just need to figure out the best way to take over... Well the Anarchists will team up with the Arsonists and burn down all the government buildings. The Nihilists will sit around and do nothing. The Hippies will grow weed to bribe government officials and also to boost our new economy. The Communists will distribute all the weed and firearms equally among the revolted. And I will prepare to ensure my space as the New Emperor Grand High Uber Czar (NEGHUC) of The New-Age and Really Extremely Giddy Associative Provinces of the Country Also Formerly Known as the United States of America. (NAREGAPCAFKUSA) As the NEGHUC of NAREGAPCAFKUSA I will create a new language give people roller coasters and make penguins our national animal.
Damn, I'm gonna love living in NAREGAPCAFKUSA. Who wants to help?
2005-06-29
A Whale of a Dragon
Damn dragons...
You may be asking why do I damn those dragons. Well frankly they get a little too big and death inducing after a point. I mean when something is twice the size of a barn and can roast an entire cow when it sneezes you have to be more then a little worried for your safety around them. But seriously do you know how many house cats’ I've lost to them? Sure they may make it look like a car hit them or something but it's pretty obvious that the dragons are just trying to cover things up. Those dragons are much craftier then we give them credit for. How many dragons have you seen this year? Like almost none! But when you're twice the size of a barn it's kind of hard to hide. But they manage it, it's hard to believe but they do. It's all because they have the power of infinity on their side. You can take an infinitely large number and put it into an infinitely small number, and it's really hard to see infinitely small things. So all the dragons have to do is find an infinitely large house to go chill in. (like that one just down the street from me and too the left... no! your other left!) And then once they're in the house they just have to go find an infinitely small whale to swallow the house. You may think that that is kind of hard but it's not... I have a couple floating around in my bottle of mineral water. (I just have to keep them away from that house...) So yeah that's how they hide, pretty crafty if you ask me.
Damn those infinitely small whales... and those dragons... and well any damn mythical creature... except for crocodiles... they're pretty cool.
You may be asking why do I damn those dragons. Well frankly they get a little too big and death inducing after a point. I mean when something is twice the size of a barn and can roast an entire cow when it sneezes you have to be more then a little worried for your safety around them. But seriously do you know how many house cats’ I've lost to them? Sure they may make it look like a car hit them or something but it's pretty obvious that the dragons are just trying to cover things up. Those dragons are much craftier then we give them credit for. How many dragons have you seen this year? Like almost none! But when you're twice the size of a barn it's kind of hard to hide. But they manage it, it's hard to believe but they do. It's all because they have the power of infinity on their side. You can take an infinitely large number and put it into an infinitely small number, and it's really hard to see infinitely small things. So all the dragons have to do is find an infinitely large house to go chill in. (like that one just down the street from me and too the left... no! your other left!) And then once they're in the house they just have to go find an infinitely small whale to swallow the house. You may think that that is kind of hard but it's not... I have a couple floating around in my bottle of mineral water. (I just have to keep them away from that house...) So yeah that's how they hide, pretty crafty if you ask me.
Damn those infinitely small whales... and those dragons... and well any damn mythical creature... except for crocodiles... they're pretty cool.
2005-06-27
Grim Reaper '05
Today I was able to use our new weed-eater, and well frankly it got me to thinking of what the Grim-Reaper of the future would prolly look like. So he'd have a weed-eater and he'd where a trench coat and ski mask... now that's pretty badass, but it's rather hard to kill people with a weed-eater. So he'd have a chainsaw. Now that is pure scary and deathlike screaming. But kids of our generation grew up with the likes of Freddy and Jason so we need to add some things to our new grim reaper to make sure children cower in fear... So well we're going to make his eye's glow, because glowing eyes are always scary! I mean, take a kitten, make its eye’s glow and, well, I’m not going to pet that kitty! Okay so we add glowing eyes and what else, hmmm... All right well when he walks it has to make the sound of a bag full of chains, because that sound is always scary. Now on the his trench-coat we should put some "no smoking" symbols, we all know that death won't scare a smoker but the thought of not being able to smoke sure as heel will. Now all this is scary and all, but not scary enough, so we need to think of some other things... like... um... RAINBOW SUSPENDERS! Now I’m shuddering just thinking of the new grim reaper. But what are the suspenders holding up? Only the scariest leg covering ever invented... Bell Bottoms. I admit they aren't as scary as rainbow suspenders but they certainly are scary. He needs a shirt too... or does he? Lets just have him go topless underneath the trench-coat but have a Wal-Mart smiley fact tattooed on his stomach with his nipple's making the eyes. Now I'm about to piss my pants...
So "The New Grim Reaper" is going to look like this: A guy in a trench-coat and ski mask holding a chain-saw wearing bell bottom and rainbow suspenders underneath the coat with a smiley face tattooed on his stomach and no smoking symbols all over his coat... Damn... I'm sure glad I grew up with the old grim reaper!
So "The New Grim Reaper" is going to look like this: A guy in a trench-coat and ski mask holding a chain-saw wearing bell bottom and rainbow suspenders underneath the coat with a smiley face tattooed on his stomach and no smoking symbols all over his coat... Damn... I'm sure glad I grew up with the old grim reaper!
2005-06-22
Viking are Da Shite!
I sit down to write something entertaining and the only thing I notice is my weak arms.
Concerning Vikings:
Vikings are a very resourceful group of people; they are a cross between Pirates and Scotsmen. In fact legend has it that the father of all Vikings traded a Pirate his bagpipes and kilt for a boat and a sword. (As cool as skirts are it was all in all a good trade.)
As far a lodging goes for a Viking they all sleep in boats. They follow this rule so vehemently even during their off season they are known to flip a boat over and sleep in it. (It is not uncommon to see Vikings hiking along land locked area's carrying small lifeboats for protection against the elements.)
All Vikings are required to have extremely large beards as long or commonly longer then the hair on their head. (The braided beard actually was started by a young homosexual Viking and quickly spread among the youth creating the new "in" thing.) Many believe that most all Vikings are blond but this is a common misconception, and at the same time Vikings are an exception to the dumb-blond rule. (Blond Vikings are usually the smart ones.)
A Vikings pet is naturally a very interesting thing. Unlike Pirates that have their parrots and Ninjas who have their... um Ninja Stars, Vikings will carry around any animal that they decide not to eat. But for an animal to truly be accepted tribe-wide as a pet, and not just a snack for later, they much be named. Names usually come from the area of which they were found and a species which they might be confused for. (The most famous Viking pet was Franklin the Norwegian Bobcat who was kitten house cat found in Grants Pass, Oregon.)
Viking pillaging usually consists of removing all the food and shiny things from a given area. This differs from Pirate pillaging by the fact that Vikings will commonly break things for no other reason than "It looked funny." (And after living in a boat for you entire life most other buildings look funny.)
The diet of a Viking is extremely varied and much like any teenage boy is pretty much whatever food they see. Many Viking also follow the strict rules of the "If you can chew it, eat it" diet. It has been told that on one occasion a Viking feast consisted or 12 different four legged animals all of which were natives to the small nation of Zaire.
The Viking burial is extremely ceremonious and does not just include the Viking warriors. Two of the most famous "send offs" were actually not even for great Viking warriors. The first was for Franklin the Norwegian Bobcat, who had been hit by a car and struggled for life even until the end. The Second was for Skjaldvör the wife Godric the slayer of Dragons, who demanded Godric clean the mead off of the boat walls. Skjaldvör was killed by flaming pieces of Franklins boat when it blew up in the final moment of departure.
The preceding is presently being looked over for admittance into the Encyclopedia Britannica, if you would like any more information on Vikings and their lifestyles please feel free to contact me.
Concerning Vikings:
Vikings are a very resourceful group of people; they are a cross between Pirates and Scotsmen. In fact legend has it that the father of all Vikings traded a Pirate his bagpipes and kilt for a boat and a sword. (As cool as skirts are it was all in all a good trade.)
As far a lodging goes for a Viking they all sleep in boats. They follow this rule so vehemently even during their off season they are known to flip a boat over and sleep in it. (It is not uncommon to see Vikings hiking along land locked area's carrying small lifeboats for protection against the elements.)
All Vikings are required to have extremely large beards as long or commonly longer then the hair on their head. (The braided beard actually was started by a young homosexual Viking and quickly spread among the youth creating the new "in" thing.) Many believe that most all Vikings are blond but this is a common misconception, and at the same time Vikings are an exception to the dumb-blond rule. (Blond Vikings are usually the smart ones.)
A Vikings pet is naturally a very interesting thing. Unlike Pirates that have their parrots and Ninjas who have their... um Ninja Stars, Vikings will carry around any animal that they decide not to eat. But for an animal to truly be accepted tribe-wide as a pet, and not just a snack for later, they much be named. Names usually come from the area of which they were found and a species which they might be confused for. (The most famous Viking pet was Franklin the Norwegian Bobcat who was kitten house cat found in Grants Pass, Oregon.)
Viking pillaging usually consists of removing all the food and shiny things from a given area. This differs from Pirate pillaging by the fact that Vikings will commonly break things for no other reason than "It looked funny." (And after living in a boat for you entire life most other buildings look funny.)
The diet of a Viking is extremely varied and much like any teenage boy is pretty much whatever food they see. Many Viking also follow the strict rules of the "If you can chew it, eat it" diet. It has been told that on one occasion a Viking feast consisted or 12 different four legged animals all of which were natives to the small nation of Zaire.
The Viking burial is extremely ceremonious and does not just include the Viking warriors. Two of the most famous "send offs" were actually not even for great Viking warriors. The first was for Franklin the Norwegian Bobcat, who had been hit by a car and struggled for life even until the end. The Second was for Skjaldvör the wife Godric the slayer of Dragons, who demanded Godric clean the mead off of the boat walls. Skjaldvör was killed by flaming pieces of Franklins boat when it blew up in the final moment of departure.
The preceding is presently being looked over for admittance into the Encyclopedia Britannica, if you would like any more information on Vikings and their lifestyles please feel free to contact me.
2005-06-13
My Vacation
Well I'm back from my vacation, it was fun... I didn't sleep all that much.
I have driven so much in the last week I feel as if I am more at home in a car. I was actually driving my friends Jon car more then anything. In fact I have driven that car more in the past week then I have driven my own in the past 2 months.
I've had a cold for the last week, I got it the night I graduated and just to show the cold how much I hate it I refused to change my schedule and in fact not only that but I also made severe efforts to exhaust my cold, and in the end exhausted me at the same time. It was fun!
Well I'm almost bored with this so I'm going to go get dressed and showered and stuff.
I have driven so much in the last week I feel as if I am more at home in a car. I was actually driving my friends Jon car more then anything. In fact I have driven that car more in the past week then I have driven my own in the past 2 months.
I've had a cold for the last week, I got it the night I graduated and just to show the cold how much I hate it I refused to change my schedule and in fact not only that but I also made severe efforts to exhaust my cold, and in the end exhausted me at the same time. It was fun!
Well I'm almost bored with this so I'm going to go get dressed and showered and stuff.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
