The Man You'll Hate to Love

I like being hated.

Now that I think about it the only reason this is true is a form of rebellion. How can you hate someone that doesn't hate you back? How can you hate someone if it's not possible to piss him or her off? Very hard is the answer. It really amuses me when people hate me. They send me ugly e-mails and I just smile and reply back in as kind of a manner as I can. I enjoy it very much. I almost wish I got more hate mail.

I sound like such a horrible person when I think about it, but really the only reason is because I'm not thinking hard enough. Is it not written in the Bible to turn the other cheek? Or perhaps love your enemy?

Hate is such a strong thing, like an A-bomb, if everyone used it there wouldn't be a world left.

Up, Below You All.

Today I figured out my problem.

I am always telling myself that I'm so much better then everyone else. Telling myself that I'm a friggin genius and all of you are idiotic pawns in someone else’s plans. But today I found out how wrong I actually am. I'm no smarter then anyone else around here. I'm really rather average trying to tell myself that I'm not. My ignorance has really just led to an extreme sub-conscious realization that I'm an idiot. Such a realization that I have convinced myself that I am an actual idiot.

Okay now I have two rather large parts of myself conflicting... One, myself, telling me that I'm well above everyone else. And two, my sub-conscious, telling me that I am an idiot. Now as you may think this is an extremely odd situation due to the account that I only have one voice in my head.

So what am I to do? If I continue to convince myself that I'm a genius then in the end I'll just fall into a pile of ignorance and get a rather large truth shock. And if I listen to my sub-conscious self well eventually I'll actually become an idiot. Now the middle ground? Actually accepting my average state of being? That in the end just puts me in a place that will never strive for anything and get a desk job that doesn't go anywhere.

Who am I?

Lefty

It seems like every post I make nowadays is apologizing for not posting as much as I used to.

Anywho life is interesting not much of great importance going on... Well actually if I really wanted I could make a few very interesting and humorous posts concerning the complete and utter lack of things that are going on.

Yesterday I ate 10 pounds of pizza... that was pretty cool, and it wasn't that bad, infact I want more pizza right now.

I used an umbrella today, they are really nifty, I don't see why more people don't use them.

Anywho thats enough of my completely and utterly boring aspects of my life.

Buh-bye.

Sorry for your Inconvienence

Wow I havn't posted since my birthday... thats pretty long...

Anywho life has been pretty tireing lately, I've had school, rugby, and my new 2 hour a night job. It's not that bad but it just takes alot out of me. Today I really don't know what to say. I hope I start posting more often again...

The End

Today has been no different than any other day.

The April Fool

It's April... yay...

So yeah what’s up? Not much, I'm turning 18 on Sunday. Oh that's cool, you'll be able to do stuff like vote, buy porn, and join the military! Yeah, but why would I want to do any of those things? Don't you want to vote, and buy things you couldn't before? No, I honestly have lost faith in our democratic system, and frankly I don't want to waste my money on porn and cigarettes. What about piercing or tattoos? Well I might get a tattoo but prolly not for a few more months. Oh, you can give plasma too. Yeah, I might do that, pretty much free money. You won't have a curfew anymore either. But I never did, my mom didn't care and police never stopped me. So you're really not that excited to be 18, huh? Nope not at all. That's too bad, most people really enjoy getting the newfound freedom. Too me it's not freedom, its more of a responsibility that I don't need. Yeah, that's too bad. Yup, well I'm taking off now, later. Bye.

Title

I know that I haven’t updated in a semi long while, but that mainly is due to the whole spring break thing that is going on... That consisted of my working, visiting friends in Eugene, camping, and finished my working more.

My trip to Eugene was interesting, almost fell asleep both driving up there and coming home. While I was there I stayed with my pseudo-ex-girlfriend, It wasn't that bad, her family doesn't know yet but all of her friends were wondering why I was there. I actually had a rather amusing time there, just hanging out and watching movies.

Camping was a lot less interesting, it consisted of driving to the redwoods, finding a wet camping spot, making camp and then continuing to get wet as we slept... The day after we drove back... Very uneventful and boring.

G'night

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear (name),
Happy Birthday to you!

Chicken A-la Mode

Today I didn't have a third period so I hung out with my Japanese friend, rather amusing just due to the fact that she'll laugh at almost anything, but the part that stuck with me is prolly the sharpie sketches that she decided to draw all over my arms and hands.

Anywho, rewinding to the weekend, I had a rugby game on Saturday; it was a four hour drive up there. Luckily it was not in vain due to the fact that we slaughtered the other team 27 to 0... It was really a huge confidence boost for the team. The four-hour drive home was rather un-eventful besides getting lost in the smelliest town in Oregon, Albany.

After I got home and as I was about to go to sleep, one of my friends called asking if I wanted to be the driver for the night. I agreed figuring I couldn’t get much more tired and that I might as well have fun; I mean it was that or sleeping. The party was really rather interesting, consisting almost entirely of people that would not select me to hang out with. And even better after a period the cops came! Second bust within a month’s period! Maybe I'm just not good luck for parties or something.

After a time when the cops had finally let us leave, and we were heading back to A-town, I made the suggestion to go to Denny's. The suggestion was widely received as a fun idea and after a bit of driving southward we came to the bustling metropolis of Yreka! Boasting a remarkable population of 7,860 people! I'd hate to live there but hey, the Denny's was good. My friend Jeff ordered for us, and for himself he got "The Sampler a-la mode." The chicken strips are good with ice cream; the mozzarella sticks not so much. We made friends with the waitress there and promised we'd come back for my birthday in three weeks.

Well that was just a portion of my weekend, and there is surprisingly enough even more that actually happened, but that will be another day. (When it happens again.)

Sketch

I sit down in front of the computer with my hands almost twitching for something to do. The reason for this is very well know to me, something explored on more than one occasion, and more often then not failed at. The energies flow through my right hemisphere and down to my extremities, seemingly stimulating them in to a mass movement where they would all function together as one, one almost human, piece of art. My hands are still trembling, I put the keyboard underneath them and continue to let the mystical energies take control of them. Steadily words appear on the computer screen out of almost nowhere. Even I ponder the origin, thinking that the centrality of these thoughts and words had been closed off to any outside stimulation. As the words continue to be processed the energies slowly wane, leaving me writing from the heart with only a small bit of inspiration. At every tap of the space bar I wonder who would actually read this and if I should just hit the delete button, the time has passed, and I feel as though I have failed. My fingers now have no new destination and fail to keep their speed. I contemplate the preceding passage and slowly highlight it. Without much more then a thought of regret I hit the delete key and it all disappears.

And?

Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing on earth still, but then its obvious, to entertain all those other people who would "miss" me if I was gone. Sometimes I wonder if that’s so much of even a good reason to stay. But hey, why not?

I sometimes wonder what is so appealing about life, really the only ting I can think of is the unpredictability of it. But that just doesn’t make too much sense with most people who have their routines and follow them everyday with out thinking or caring. I really don't plan to ever settle down... I'll pretty much just save up money for a time, leave, and comeback in a few months to do it again. I don't care about retirement I just don't want to be sucked into the modern standard of living everyone else follows. I don't care if I'm still washing dishes when I’m 47, as long as I am still going on random ass trips. I hope to die before I worry about retirement...

Well I must go plan the rest of my miserable life out...

Fuck the World

I'm posting more out of need to update rather then something significant happening in my life that I must tell all the wacko's about.

Last Saturday I broke my nose in my first rugby game, it was pretty cool, bled for like four plus hours.

I hate school and am sick and tired of all and any challenging classes.

I hate life because it's boring as hell.

I'm depressed because I need to be close to someone.

Anyway that was my update.